Now, I don't even pretend to "get" this, but I thought maybe you would.*
Hundreds of Teeth to Attend Kid Rock/Lynyrd Skynyrd Show
August 19, 2008 – Susquehanna Bank Center officials yesterday said that this Friday's Kid Rock/Lynyrd Skynyrd concert would likely draw thousands of fans–as well as hundreds of teeth. "It's not quite sold out yet, but the arena will still be full of leather vests and confederate-flag t-shirts," said special events manager John Bender. "So obviously, that'll translate into literally dozens of teeth, as well."Tooth owners throughout the region were looking forward to the union of southern-rock legends Lynyrd Skynyrd and rap-rocker Kid Rock. "It's gonna be a hot one, that's for damn sure," enthused Vineland's Rick Hopp, 31, the gaps in his teeth causing a slight whistle. "Nonea them fellas take no kinda s*** from nobody!" Thad Cresson, 40, of Schuylkill Haven, agreed. "When I heard they was playin' together, I thought I'd 'bout died an' gone t' heaven," he grinned, revealing a half-full mouth. "Ho-lee (expletive deleted)!"
Bender, meanwhile, predicted that the venue would likely host more teeth on Friday than it did at Saturday's Toby Keith concert. "We definitely expect to see more [teeth] for Kid Rock than we did for Toby Keith," he said. "On Saturday, we saw probably three, four teeth for every fan." Nonetheless, Hopp, a proud owner of a whopping fourteen teeth, was more focused on the upcoming performance than his bicuspids, molars, and lone incisor. "Ooh, daddy, when Skynyrd plays 'Free Bird,' you won't be able t' keep the smile offa my face. And it's a goddamn purty smile, too."
*It's just a joke, of course. From The Philadelphia Turkey